Torn

“A Longing for the Past” continuation~

I have a name, although I don't know whether I prefer to be Aliyah or Lia. I don’t know whether I want to be the carefree little girl, forever clinging on to the past or to be the teenager constantly searching for something, to fill this hole through my chest. I’ve always been running, running away from all my problems. So when I saw the last piece of us in that hallway, I turned the other way, not wanting to remember. I told myself to forget, but I wanted more than anything to bring them back, for Ree-ree, Fin, Jelly, and Lia and laugh together. After that day, I tried everything, from shooting stars to bargaining. Maybe if I donated enough money, or if I pinched myself hard enough, or shed enough tears, they would appear again. And then I met him. Suddenly, that place, our Spot, wasn’t so bad after all. Months later, came the dream. Perhaps it was magic, or a mystical power out of my control, but nine years later, I was given that very wish. They were alive. We were happy, together. Yet, I sprinted away, back to reality, back to J. I now lie on my back, gazing at the stars. Did I make the right choice? Was it okay to leave them? I have my answer. Sorry, but I won’t be turning back anymore.