1 Step Forward, 3 Steps Back

Growing through change: Stories and advice from a teen, for all the teens out there.

Adults around me are always saying that being a teenager is the best time of your life. However, I would like to have a word with whoever came up with that. 

Being a teen is like trying to solve a puzzle with nearly half the pieces missing. One minute you're walking down the hall full of confidence, then suddenly doubting everything you’ve said in the last 24 hours. Being a teen means more responsibilities, pressure, and drama. You never know what to expect, and anything could go wrong anytime. But I’ve learned that it also comes with independence and freedom. With changes that allow me to explore myself in ways I’ve never wanted to face before. 

No day is ever perfect, and nor is anyone either. But overcoming challenges myself has shaped the way I see everything. 

Last August, I left my friends, school, and childhood behind. Moving across the country all the way to Massachusetts definitely wasn’t my choice. And as a teenager, it felt like packing my life in boxes for a change I was not ready for. I knew everything was going to change and I didn’t want it to. 

I grew up in the Bay Area for nearly my whole life. I had my friends, teachers, dance studio, and school. I wasn’t in need of any change, I felt comfortable where I was. 

But after settling into a new community around 2 months later, I think to myself, maybe I did need a little twist somewhere. Although I loved where I was in California, sometimes I felt that I was stuck in place. I had lived in the same town for 11 years and was friends with the same people I had met in kindergarten. It was nice being able to stick with the same people and walk the same path together. But that limited my ability to expand myself. 

When I moved to Massachusetts, I had to make new friends, get used to the new systems, and fit into the new community. At first, I didn’t like it at all. It was uncomfortable, difficult, and frustrating. But the more I opened up to this change, I slowly got used to it. 

Now, it wasn’t easy for a couple of months. Staying up all night to finish assignments because I wasn’t used to the new rules, crying about making new friends, staring at old photos, and much more. I had to push myself beyond my limits, but as time went on, it turned out to be a refreshing change.

I wouldn’t have done it without my dance instructors. When I had to leave the same local dance studio I had attended since I was 3 years old, I struggled to move on. My teammates were my second sisters, and my teachers were basically my parents. However, they taught me how to have an open mind and allow myself to slowly blend into the new community. They believed in my abilities and motivated me to continue working hard. I would have to start again on the other side of the country, but they wanted me to walk in with an open heart. Ready for change, ready to face new obstacles and achieve bigger things. 

And that helped me a lot. I was able to make new friends, join a new colony of amazing people, and expand my experiences past what most teens do. My new community isn’t the same as my old one, and I’ll forever miss it, but this move has given me so much room to grow and so far, it’s not that bad at all. 

As I started to feel more at home in my new east coast environment, I learned that growth doesn’t always come from comfort and repetition – sometimes it comes from setbacks. And the more you open your heart to it and believe in yourself, the easier it is to adapt.

A couple of months ago, everyone at my ballet school auditioned for The Nutcracker. Most of my friends had done it before, so they already knew how things usually went. For many of us, the casting list felt predictable — until it didn’t.

One of my new close friends had always been seen as one of the best dancers in our class. For the past three years, she was given one of the top student roles, and she’d trained at some of the most prestigious summer programs. Everyone admired her talent. Classmates, younger dancers, even I did. She walked into this year’s audition expecting the same outcome. Honestly, we all did.

But when the cast list was posted, everything changed. Instead of getting her usual role, she was given a “bad role” — one of the roles with a short amount of stage time and little attention from the audience. It wasn’t just a casting disappointment. It felt personal. Like someone had suddenly decided she wasn’t good enough anymore.

At first, she was crushed. She started questioning herself. Her passion, her purpose, her talent.  It was hard to watch someone so confident and passionate begin to doubt herself overnight.

But after a couple days of rethinking, she chose to do the role. Slowly, her spark came back — not because she loved the part she was playing, but because she realized she still loved dancing, no matter who was watching or what role she was given.

That experience reminded me of a hard truth about growing up: not everyone is going to like you. Even if you’ve done everything right. Even if you’re talented. Even if you deserve more. You won’t always get the part. You won’t always be chosen. And the hardest part is realizing that the people making those decisions might not even have a reason. But that doesn’t mean you stop showing them who you are. It just means you stop trying to be liked by everyone — and start focusing on liking yourself. 

It also showed me that a strong mindset and hard work gets you further than anything else. Further than luck, money, and even talent. I’ve seen so many natural born talents with certain advantages that put them ahead of the game without even trying. But the ones who practiced and learned will be the ones who continue their journey successfully. Some look at the successors and think it’s a natural gift, perhaps money, maybe they got lucky? It’s passion, determination, and hard work. 

When I think about everything that’s changed in the last couple of months, new school, new friends, new state, I realize how much I’ve changed too. I’m no longer the same person that was too scared to leave everything behind. Moving didn’t just teach me how to start over, it pushed me to keep going with my future. Whether it’s in a ballet studio, classroom, maybe on a professional stage or an office (who knows what’s gonna happen next), I’m learning that every new beginning is a chance to believe, and find your own beat, again. Because that’s what being a teen is about. It’s not perfection, but finding yourself fighting for growth within the harsh moments we often avoid.