Sweet, Sweet Revenge

The water engulfed me whole. Its arms wrapped around my limbs. They yanked and tore at my desperate attempt to live until I stopped thrashing. Until I gave up.

But all things eventually come to an end. It came back. It seeped through the walls and wrapped those claws against the skin of my little girl who was not so little anymore. It grimaced through sharp teeth next to her bed.

The water engulfed me whole.

Its arms wrapped around my limbs. They yanked and tore at my desperate attempt to live until I stopped thrashing. Until I gave up. 

I stared up, just to see the light one more time. It was so, so warm. But all things, good or bad, will come to an end. My vision betrayed me as I sunk further and further down. The sore ache in my throat slowly numbed—I felt Death herself greeting. I couldn’t help but wonder, “Where did I go wrong in this life?”

They say that a person’s mind lives on for seven more minutes to replay their happiest memories. I think I had a few, yes. Earliest flashes of my mom holding my hand when I was down with fever. The days where I gathered all the stuffed animals to host a tea party. Everything was so much simpler back then. The bliss of ignorance in our childhood days was one I would never forget. Crashing back to reality, I pondered whether I’ll make it to Heaven or rot in Hell. Or perhaps I’ll simply cease to exist, my entire soul erased. I guess, maybe this isn’t so bad after all. This wretched world will never plague thoughts ever again. This is it, Mareena. But, just maybe, next…

Gold, buttery biscuits paired with a chocolate colored tea appear in front of me. My vision, it’s so, so bright. Bright like the sun, warm and welcoming. Have I made it to… Heaven? After all that I’ve done?

TEA TIME! TEA TIME! Astri… is that really you? She had those very dirty blond pigtails, dressed in a pink dress. My little sister used to hold my hands as we walked through the pastures, used to play dress up in the bathroom. But that was before she died. Or when I killed her. I collapsed before the cold floor. That was it, I remember now. I was eleven years old, not even a teenager yet, when I smashed her face in a birthday cake as a prank. Just to be popular. 

They had offered the world. And I took it with grateful hands. 

But in an instant, my mouth was compelled to speak, “M-May I have a piece?”

Did that just come out of me? A bite really did draw closer and I opened my mouth to take it—but it passed straight through. No, this is not my sister. This is not the afterlife. 

I was a friend. An imaginary friend. But maybe this isn’t so bad after all. I can spend my existence living out that happy life.

“Thank you,” I croaked. 

This was truly all sunshine and rainbows. Emi and I ate more and more cake together. We whispered throughout nap time. We played dress up with her mom’s makeup. We danced with Mr. Cat and Mr. Bear. 

“How was your day?”

“Cheers!”

“Sweet dreams.”

“PLAY TIME!”

But all things eventually come to an end. It came back. It seeped through the walls and wrapped those claws against the skin of my little girl who was not so little anymore. It grimaced through sharp teeth next to her bed.

Fire rose through my stomach. My fists clenched and I wanted to scream. Why? Why? Why? Haven’t you taken enough from me? I tried to hurl it away but I wasn’t the hero Emi saw. I was simply and utterly imaginary.

I could only watch as the curse developed, as Emi cared more and more about looks. And social status.

“Reena, why do they not like me?

But before I could reply—she turned away. She faced away from me and walked to the other side.

I was shunned, thrown to the side. She had no more use for me. I could only stare at Emi’s back as they ripped and tore at her heart. I couldn’t remember the last time there weren’t tears stained on her face. It was just like before. 

Valeriia. April. And Hailee. They pushed and pushed my crossing line. Convinced me to commit atrocities in the name of popularity. Cause that was all that mattered, how well you were liked. I had a best friend too. Her name was Evie. We had friendship bracelets and matching unicorn headbands. The first step was leaving her behind. 

Emi. Villain Number 1. Villain Number 2. And Villain Number 3. They had Diet Coke together in the same pink skirts and the same white tops. 

I remember my First​​—the first person whose world I made a living hell. They circled around me, handed scissors, and waited. I was just as petrified. Because that person had long brunette hair to her waist with freckles reaching both ears. And that person’s name was Evie.

“Wow, you have such long, silky hair.”

“I wish I had hair like yours.”

“Thanks, I’ve been leaving it out since kindergarten.”

“Reena, do you see this hair of mine? I like to think they’re the strings that hold me together.”

“Cut. It. Off.”

 I cut it off. Stared at my hands. And did it all over again. 

 This is when I truly despaired, watching my little girl who had the dream of becoming a princess hurt others. I wanted to reach out, to show her the warmth like she did for me. But all I could do was watch, a word I've come to hate.

The regret piled up until it became too suffocating to bear, for it was not out of admiration that they all stared, but fear instead. Emi and I, we both were done with this. Done with the endless demands and torment, the cages closing in. 

“I’m done.”

“I’m done.”

With those little legs and those bouncy curls, she ran back to me with the shine back in those round eyes. Perhaps this is the reason I was brought back. To ensure she would never, ever end up like me, in order to stay by her side throughout it all. 

A week later, Emi bounced through the school halls but was stopped in her tracks. She felt fear and nausea flowing to every inch of her limbs, a feeling I know all too well.

“You have been invited to Savannah’s birthday party.”

“You have been invited to Hailee’s end of the year cruise trip.”

“Sorry. I have a tea party to attend,” Emi denied, gesturing to me. 

“Of c-course,” I replied, with not a soul to lean on.

Emi sat around a table with all her stuffed animals and toasted.

I gazed out at the view with the beach breeze and was pushed into the waters. All alone. 

I ate biscuits with Emi again. They were gold and buttery, just like before. Except now, the little girl was all grown up. I happily faded away—so, so proud of her. 

Take that, world.